 A
Note From Mary
Previously, I asked you, “What is the
one thing that would make the biggest
difference for you over the upcoming
year if you were to do it?” Keri wrote:
I am applying for a new job which is
closer to my husband's work. We commute
a total of 3 hours a day. We have a 3
year old and it's time to simplify. If
I get it, we will have to move, sell our
house, buy a new house, get a new
babysitter, find a new preschool, and
find a new church, resign duties at
present church, etc. It will all be
worth it.
I think it’s interesting that one action
(applying for a new job) could lead to
so many changes in Keri’s life. Yet
notice her last sentence: It will all
be worth it. When you focus on the
end value, it’s easier to find the
courage to make a major life decision.
That’s what led me to leave employment
outside the home ten years ago. In my
case, the end value was being more
available to my children. I kept my eye
on that prize which gave me the courage
to resign from a job I loved working
with people I enjoyed being with. A
decade later I’m running a busy
consulting practice from home.
Here’s what the experience of leaving
something I loved taught me: when you do
the right thing for the right reason,
God blesses your efforts. That doesn’t
mean it will be easy, or that you’ll be
smashingly successful, it just means
that He will be present for you and
provide what you need to get through the
transition.
Is there a heavy decision weighing on
your mind this month? Invite God into
the midst of it. The Holy Spirit will
help provide clarity and courage, the
two things you need to manage change.
Keri is wise to look at ways to reduce
the 3 hour commute. Think of what she
and her family will gain when they
reduce the time on the road! Then, think
about what you can gain when you reduce
something in your life. Maybe you
gain peace of mind when you reduce
stress or clarity of thought when you
reduce busyness or harmony in your home
when you reduce clutter.
Make the decision that’s weighing on
your mind this month. It will free your
mind for other things. Reduce one thing
and see what kind of freedom you gain.
Oh, as you prepare to do this, don’t
forget to invite the Holy Spirit in. He
loves to partner with you!
Strengthening Families by Encouraging
Moms,
Mary Byers
Food for Thought
Remember, Jesus said, “And I will ask
the Father, and he will give you another
Counselor to be with you forever—the
Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept
him, because it neither sees him nor
knows him. But you now him, for he lives
with you and will be in you.” (John
14:16)
The
Counselor Jesus speaks of is the Holy
Spirit. He lives in you and He is ready,
willing and able to assist you. You
simply need to call on Him and then wait
quietly to hear Him speak to you.
Powerful No-Saying
If I had a dollar
for every lengthy, long-winded excuse
I’ve shared with people throughout my
lifetime, I’d be rich. That’s why I love
the following quote:
“No” is a complete
sentence.
The quote is from
Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch and
appears in their book, How to Say No
Without Feeling Guilty. These two
women helped me understand that I don’t
have to provide a reason when I say no.
Now, when I have to turn down an
opportunity, I simply say something
like, “Thanks for asking but I won’t be
able to help with that project.”
Then, I bite my
tongue so that I’m not tempted to recite
the litany of reasons why I can’t help.
“No is enough” has become my mantra,
even though sometimes it’s a difficult
mantra to live by.
The fact that you
can’t help is more important than why
you can’t help. And when you offer a
reason why, you open the door for others
to judge whether or not your reason is
“good enough.” And people do judge your
reasons—even when they don’t have access
to information about your current
schedule, special challenges you may be
facing, etc. That’s why it’s best to
focus on whether or not you can help
rather than why you can or can’t help.
Period.
It’s taken me a
long time to get to the point where I
can accept that “No is enough.” When I
feel it’s appropriate or necessary, I’ll
offer an explanation when I turn down an
opportunity. But I’ve learned that those
times are rare. Consequently, most of my
no-saying now is done without
explanation or excuse, which has made
no-saying make me feel less guilty and
more in control of my life.
Understanding that “No is enough” will
do the same for you.
Sanity Saver
Spring break is this month for many
school kids and their parents. Instead
of waiting to hear, “I’m bored” that
week, why not plan some fun excursions
now? They don’t have to be expensive. My
kids love a trip to the library, family
room picnics, and pajama days. Ask your
kids to help you plan, and then you can
look forward to the break with
anticipation instead of parental dread.
Add Lightening the Load to Your Address
Book
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March 2008
Lightening the Load
eZine published by Mary Byers, Author of
The Mother Load
Table of Contents
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