 A
Note From Mary
Dear
Fellow Mom,
I have an article from the associated press in
front of me titled, “Hovering parents irk
colleges.” The first sentence reads, “They’re
called ‘helicopter parents,’ for their habit of
hovering—hyper-involved—over their children’s
lives. Here at Colgate University, as elsewhere,
they have become increasingly bold in recent
years, telephoning administrators to complain
about their children’s housing assignments,
roommates and grades.”
The article quotes Helen Johnson, author of
Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money, a
guide for college parents, who writes, “This is
a group of parents who have been more involved
in their children’s development since any
generation in American History.”
After reading that sentence, I stopped and
pondered the implications of parental
involvement in a child’s life. Am I too
involved? I wondered.
Since then, I’ve actively been seeking
opportunities to help each of my children take
responsibility for themself. It’s tough, but I
try not to remind them when their library
books or due, or ask if their homework is done.
Instead, I’m trying to teach them to ask
themselves the questions they need to ask.
Before bed, I want them to ask, Have I done
everything I need to do to prepare for tomorrow?
In the morning before leaving for school I
want them to ask, Are my morning chores done?
Do I have everything I need for school today?
It’s much better that they get into the habit of
asking those questions now, even though it is
hard for me to let go enough to let them do it.
Part of the reason that it’s hard to let go is
that I want to matter to my kids. But after
thinking about it, I’ve decided I want to matter
to them because I’m their mother, not because
they need me to remind them to do their homework
or grab their lunch on the way out the door. I’m
making a hard decision now: I want to matter in
my kids’ lives, but I don’t want to be a
“helicopter parent.” I also don’t want to be a garbage sweeper, trailing
behind them picking up the messes they make.
Instead, I’d like to be a sidecar, like on a
motorcycle, riding alongside my children as a
companion and encourager.
The decisions we make today determine our
children’s future success in life. Decide what
kind of parent you want to be. Then, have the
courage to be it.
Strengthening families by encouraging moms,
Mary Byers
Mary
Recommends
 Author
Dena Dyer has written a great book of mediations
for busy moms called Grace for the Race.
Here’s a quick description:
Sometimes motherhood can feel like an Olympic
sport. From the early morning vault out of bed,
over the hurdles of the day, to the
bath-and-bedtime relay, busy moms need a little
expert coaching. Dena Dyer, herself a young mom,
offers just that in these forty-five biblically
based meditations. With real-life stories and
gentle humor, Dyer helps readers understand that
God isn't looking for perfection. Instead, He
invites mothers to surrender their schedules,
emotions, and relationships-and rest securely in
Him. Honest and funny, this book delivers grace
for the race of both motherhood and the
Christian
life.
Because the chapters are short and to-the-point,
this is a great read and source of encouragement
for busy moms. I’ve been blessed by the book and
hope you will be too!
You can purchase this book for $7.97 with FREE
shipping by
clicking here. or visiting
www.pcpublications.org
Sanity
Saver:
Start now! The holidays are just around the
corner. Take a little time this week to sit down
with a hot cup of coffee (or a cold soda or
glass of water, depending on your preference),
your favorite pen and a pad of paper. Many of us
get stressed by the holidays because we’re too
busy to organize our “To Do” lists prior to the
start of the season. Rather than waiting, make
your lists now, in the calm and quiet of fall,
and you’ll approach this holiday season with a
winning game plan!
|
October 10, 2005
Lightening the Load
eZine published by Mary Byers, Author of
The Mother Load
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