 A
Note From Mary
Dear
Fellow Mom,
Reading
The Oprah Magazine
is one of the indulgences I allow myself each month. I
put on a comfy pair of pajamas and head to bed early the
day it arrives in the mail. Doing so creates an oasis
for me in the midst of mothering.
This
month, in her “What I Know for Sure Column,” Oprah addresses
how quickly time passes—and reiterates that it is important
to spend our time wisely. She writes, “Time is fleeting.
Those of you with children are ever cognizant of this
fact. They keep growing out of themselves.” Yes, they
certainly do, I thought as I read those words.
And
then, with gut-wrenching realization, I understood that
that’s what I want to do too: grow out of myself.
For so long I’ve felt that my own growth was over; that
because I have children I need to be focused on their
growth at the expense of mine. I’ve done a few things
to make sure I keep growing. I took tap dancing lessons.
I’ve taken a couple of business-related classes. I’m in
a monthly bible study. But it’s been a long time since
I’ve actually grown enough to grow out of myself. But,
more than ever, that’s what I want—as a woman, as a wife
and as a mother. I want to be different tomorrow than
I am today. But how?
After
reading Oprah’s words, I sat down with my journal and
asked myself three questions:
- ·What
do I know for sure (about myself, about my
family, and about what everyone needs from me) right
now?
- ·
What do I want to learn?
- ·
What’s standing in my way?
I
wrote for nearly an hour, and when I was done, I had a
game plan for what’s next in my life. I also felt excited,
energized, and encouraged.
As
I wrote in The Mother Load, “One of the paradoxes
of motherhood is that what we need as mothers
is often the first thing we give up in order to be
mothers. This is certainly true of making time for
our own spiritual and personal growth. We often forego
it in order to focus more fully on our children. It’s
a dilemma: See to your own needs or see to theirs. Somehow
we’ve gotten the idea that growth has to be an either/or
proposition.”
This
Mother’s Day, I renewed my commitment to the goal of being
a great mother. But I also decided to give some time and
attention to all the other roles I play as well. I know
I’ll be better for it. Ultimately, I think my kids will
be too.
I
dare you to dream also. What’s next for you? It’s a question
worth pondering. You may not be able to do something about
the answer right now, but there’s always tomorrow. And
certainly, the opportunity to grow out of one’s self is
worth looking forward to. Why not start today?
Strengthening families by encouraging moms,
Mary Byers
Recommended
Reading:
 The
title of Mary DeMuth’s Book, Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary
God, caught my eye. The book, however, has captured
my heart.
DeMuth
writes with candor and honesty, and her ability to find
meaning in the mundane has helped me realize that even
the most boring and routine aspects of mothering often
hold significance—if only I take the time to look for
it. This is a book that can be read again and again, something
I plan to do. If you didn’t get yourself a Mother’s Day
gift yesterday, now is the chance to do so. Simply follow
the link below and you’ll find meaning in everything from
unneeded glasses to a snowwoman.
You can purchase
this book for $10.99 with FREE Shipping at PC
Publications
Sanity
Saver:
Engage
in group naps (where everyone heads to his or her room
for rest) or family quiet time (where everyone has to
be in his or her room for a specified period of time)
to slow down the pace of family life, provide refreshment
when needed, and/or prevent grumpiness when the family
schedule feels out of control. My children are 7 and 9
and we still use these ideas to keep things in balance.
Truthfully, they work for me and my husband as much (or
more!) as they do for the kids!
|
May 9, 2005
Lightening
the Load
eZine
published by Mary Byers, Author of The Mother Load
Table
of Contents
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A
Note From Mary |
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Recommended
Reading |
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Sanity
Saver |
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